Words
by starooo
Summary: He smiled, grabbing her wrists and pulled her into an embrace. “And you have my heart. Not part, not half but all of it, Polka.” He pressed his forehead on hers and inched his lips closer to Mikan’s. “And it’ll still be yours until the very last beat.”


**Words**

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**For: **Everyone who matters :)

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The sky was fiery red. Like fire burning in the sky, setting the clouds aflame. Mikan smiled. It was a nice afternoon to begin with. But sooner or later, she knew it will end. _It's time to leave,_ she thought, _it's time to leave Alice Academy._

Mikan Sakura packed her suitcase. Inside was her pink toothbrush, three pairs of pants, thirteen shirts and seven shorts, a dozen and a half of her underwear and of course, a small bag of what she would call her 'woman necessities.'

Seven knocks on the door before she stood and answered it. "Hotaru," Mikan said, smiling. "You've come to see me go, right?"

Hotaru nodded her head and she let out a small voice in a tone barely above a whisper. "Of course." She welcomed herself in Mikan's one-star room. It was dusty, smaller and certainly not a room Mikan would call _home_, but the way the room smelt like wild citrus and jasmine flowers gave off her identity. After all, Mikan Sakura was the only one who could pull off that old womanly scent and still look cute. The Imai let herself inhale the fragrance. _This_, she thought, _is my last glimpse of Mikan's scent before she goes_. "Mikan?" Hotaru called, letting her arms, which were previously folded up to her chest, fall on her sides.

"Hm?" She zipped her suitcase for the last time and turned to look at her.

"Come here." She opened her arms and not too soon, Mikan was in them, trying hard not to cry as she rested her head on Hotaru's shoulders. "You idiot, don't make us worry too much, okay?"

"Okay." She felt Hotaru's arms dropping from her body but her hand was on her head in an attempt for comforting the girl. "I'll take care of myself while I'm outside and I'll be back as soon as I can so you guys won't have time to miss me."

"Make sure of that." Hotaru said, walking over to the door. "I'm going now, there's still two more hours left before classes finish and we could send you off so behave yourself while we're gone."

"Okay." She said again, inhaling deeply. "Thank you, Hotaru."

Hotaru didn't say anything but she nodded her head half-way before closing the door and as she walked through the halls, she thought of a word Nogi shared to class one day. _Ca va_, it was the French way of asking how things were with you, and it meant, in literal translation, "It goes."

_Ca va, _Hotaru repeated in her head and at the same time she wondered of another gloomier phrase. It was the French way of saying "She went."

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Mikan went down a few minutes after Hotaru did. She had more than an hour to go and she obviously wasn't in high spirits to say goodbye to the others. If making friends was her specialty, then goodbyes was her greatest downfall. She wandered on the campus herself and thought that it was nice to have some time alone. It meant that she could ponder about the things she failed to. About what she would do the moment she met her mother, better yet, how she would react later when everyone tells their goodbyes to her. She sat down by an old oak tree and buried her face in her hands because at that moment, she had no idea what to do next.

"You're still here?" Mikan didn't bother looking up for she knew who it was who spoke. The question was rhetorical or rather, he was asking a question to no one in particular. Grass rustled and he sat next to her. Skipping school again, she wanted to say but it soon died on her lips.

"Natsume?" Mikan let herself face him. "What will you do now?"

He took a deep breath and looked at the same fiery sky Mikan was looking at a while ago. The sky was in red-orange and it looked like it was boiling. It reminded the boy of his own Alice, of his sister Aoi and the reason of Mikan Sakura's departure. "I'll keep on fighting."

"Me too." It took her a while before she smiled. "You'll… you'll…"

"I'll wait for you, Mikan." He said, looking at her in the eyes. He stole the words right out from her mouth. He reached up his hand to caress her cheek with his thumb. "I'll wait for you, so you have to come back." His voice was light as cotton, soft as cloth and as pure as snow.

"I will." Her voice was eager as daylight and as clear as crystal. From one point, Mikan was actually assuring not only Natsume, but also herself. Mikan stared at her hand and removed her purity ring. "Do you remember this?" That one night when you asked me what this was? When you tried it on your finger and secretly hoped to wear it forever? When I said I'll give this to the man I'll love and marry?

"Of course."

She rolled the ring casually with her index finger and her thumb before grabbing Natsume's hand and placing it in his palm. "I'm giving it to you." Natsume pushed his mouth into a playful grin and before a word could escape that vulgar mouth of his, she beat him right to it. "We're _not_ going to do _it._ God."

"I know," He chuckled. "I know."

"Don't wear it yet," Mikan flipped her hair over her shoulders and removed her silver necklace. "Put it in this first and when I come back, I'll put it on my finger again and I'll give it to you for the second time."

"Why?"

"Because…" She slid the ring in the necklace, placed it around Natsume's neck and touched the ring. "This ring's a part of this," She pointed at her heart. "And while I'm gone, you'll still have a part of my heart."

He smiled, grabbing her wrists and pulled her into an embrace. "And you have mine. Not part, not half but all of it, Mikan." He pressed his forehead on hers and inched his lips closer to Mikan's. "And it'll still be yours until the very last beat."

"Mm." Was all she could say as his lips fell on hers deeply. It was in the way he kissed her that made her heart ache. He kissed her in a way like he was telling her goodbye. After all, under the burning sky and the twisted fate of two lovers, there was a Romeo and a Juliet.

They were a lot like them. She went away and he chased after her and after all those regrets, he still loved her. He still died for her. And Juliet, Juliet was still alive when Romeo was dead. And like him, after all those regrets, she still loved him. She still died for him.

But the only difference was Romeo and Juliet died together.

Natsume Hyuuga and Mikan Sakura died apart.

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Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and months turned into years. One year. Two years. Three years. Four years.

Mikan Sakura came back after four years, but as she stepped foot into the grounds of Alice Academy, she knew, not only from the dark chocolate clouds and the grey snow-like ashes, that she came back for nothing.

A man in uniform approached as soon as she reached the main gate. "You've heard the rules right? No outsiders allowed." He snapped at her and pushed the brunette violently. "Now move it!"

"I'm sorry," She turned back and approached the guard. "You must've gotten me mixed up, I'm an Alice. Mikan Sakura, ID no. 413200." She rummaged into her bag and pulled out her identification card from four years ago.

"We know who you are, we've heard enough about you. The girl who escaped this place for the Z organization, I don't see the reason why you want to come back here anyways." He placed a hand on his hip and looked at Mikan with defined dignity. "See? Your card is dated out. You're not part of the Alice Academy anymore."

"_Please._" Her hand clutched on his right arm. "Please let me in. I… I left something important in there." I left my heart with Natsume Hyuuga. I need to see him.

The man's eyes on the girl softened. "I'm sorry, kid. Truth is, there's nothing left of the place. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but if you weren't informed, an Alice war happened early this month. And just this morning, a bomb exploded in the middle school division, they're collecting the…" He couldn't bring the words out. They're collecting bodies, damnit.

"A bombing happened?" Mikan tried to force out the words out of her mouth. "The students… the teachers… the… the…" _The black cat._ What exactly happened?

The guard placed a hand on Mikan's shoulders. "This is Alice Academy, some survived and some… some didn't. I don't want to say anything more. If you like, I'd let you in myself…" He turned, and as if on his command, the gate opened. Smoke was still visible from afar. Mikan was already on her way in when the guard grabbed her wrist. "Hey, kid, I'm really sorry, okay?"

Mikan nodded her head sadly. _Too late_, she thought, _too late._

She walked her way to the middle school division. It took her four minutes before she arrived. And those were the most painful four minutes of her life not until she saw two men gathering around someone and talking in hushed whispers. "So, this is how it ended."

The other nodded. "Poor boy," He whispered to himself. Even he knew there was a life ahead of him. _Death,_ the two of them thought_, is indeed a horrible monster._ Getting the boy's soul was like thievery. He was too precious for his own good. "Poor boy."

They sensed the girl's presence and the other, who was the one who spoke last, turned to face Mikan. "Do you know him?"

"Probably not." But her voice was shaking. She peered in and there, like she thought, was a boy with hair as dark as the clouds lying on the ground like he was sound asleep. So peaceful did he look like. Mikan went in for another look and at that moment, she couldn't point out who he was. But as she inched closer, she saw a shining metal ring behind the cloth of his shirt. Mikan couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Natsume?

She placed the words in her mouth. "Natsume?" She dropped to her knees and threw her bag beside her. "Oh, Natsume…" She cried, her hands gripping on his shirt. "Natsume, wake up, it's me. I'm back. I'm back…" She cried again, tears falling down her cheeks. "Didn't you say you'll wait for me? Hey… Idiot. Wake up…" She pushed and pulled his shirt as she shook him violently. "You'll keep fighting, right? Your heart's still with me… and my ring… my ring's still with you. You broke it, Natsume. I gave you my heart… you broke it… you broke it!" There she was, Mikan Sakura, holding Natsume's shirt and tears kept falling on her face as she tried to call someone. "Help! Anyone?"

No one answered. Two men who were with him were gone. _Poor boy, _they thought again as they left, _poor girl._

"Natsume Hyuuga, damnit. Wake up…" She tried again, wrestling with the dead. "I love you… Please, please, _please…_ Wake up…"

But he didn't.

Mikan pulled him into an embrace. He was cold and heavy and she imagined the last time she was with him. The feeling she had when he kissed her. Her eagerness as she promised to come back. She did, but he didn't. She cradled him enough and told herself that it's time to put him down.

"Natsume… Oh, God, Natsume…" She cried, caressing his cheek with her thumb like what he did to her that day. She leaned in and kissed Natsume Hyuuga on the lips. Soft and true it was. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall on his face as she kissed him again. He tasted like dirt and ice. He tasted like regret on the lips, of broken promises and heavy hearts. Mikan pulled away and placed a finger on his lips, caressing it. Her hand shook, but she didn't care. "…I really did love you."

She imagined his crimson eyes behind his closed eyelids. She imagined them looking at her and for once; she didn't care whether he shooed her away again or called her _Pandas, Strawberries _or _Polka-dots_. She just wanted him back. She eyed the necklace on his neck and smiled wretchedly.

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"_Because…" She slid the ring in the necklace, placed it around Natsume's neck and touched the ring. "This ring's a part of this," She pointed at her heart. "And while I'm gone, you'll still have a part of my heart."_

_He smiled, grabbing her wrists and pulled her into an embrace. "And you have mine. Not part, not half but all of it, Mikan." He pressed his forehead on hers and inched his lips closer to Mikan's. "And it'll still be yours until the very last beat."_

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Mikan stood, dared not to say goodbye. She couldn't bear to, she was just too vulnerable. And for the first time in a long time, she buried her face in her hands because at that moment, she had no idea what to do next.

"I was told you're here." Mikan didn't turn but she heard her. The same nonchalant voice and perhaps, even the same stoned-look. Mikan knew that Hotaru Imai wasn't looking at her, but at Natsume. She didn't even know whether what she said was addressed to her. "Mikan?"

"H-hotaru…" She let herself cry and break down as she ran into her best friend's arms. "He didn't wait for me… H-he… he didn't wake up."

"Shh." She rubbed a soothing hand over Mikan's back. "I'm sure he did. He just kept fighting, that's what he told me. That night, before we escaped the school—everyone except some of the teachers and the dangerous ability class—Hyuuga pulled me from the crowd and in the midst of the stampede and the smoke from afar, he whispered to me words that I should tell you when he couldn't make it."

"W-words," Mikan began, pushing herself away from Hotaru. "What did he say?"

Hotaru pulled Mikan in and whispered to her the words he told her that night. She told Mikan the same words, the same way and the same voice he used when he whispered into the inventor's ear. When done, Hotaru reassured Mikan once more and gave her another hug. "Let's go home with the others, you had enough for today."

And Mikan, with a tear-stained face and a tired heart, wondered why this all just _had _to end like this.

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**Natsume's Words:**

"You'll always have my heart. You'll still be in it, until the very last beat. Don't worry about me, I love you Mikan, I really did love you."

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**Author's Notes:**

Sequel for Purity Ring by starooo. It's supposed to be a happy ending but I just kept writing and it turned into angst. You can say I'm very much inspired by _Markus Zusak, _if you haven't noticed.

**Disclaimer:** _Tom and Laura McNeal _for the French word _Ca va_, _peterpauper_ for the Romeo and Juliet part and _Higuchi Tachibana _for Gakuen Alice..


End file.
